This Ain't Your Grandma's Grammar

The Chief Executive Officers of the three hospitals in my Illinois hamlet have formed a Collaborative. I know it’s so because it was published in the Gannett Gazette serving my community. A collaborative what, you may ask? A collaborative effort? A collaborative group? A collaborative collaboration? No, just a Collaborative. Apparently the capitalization of an adjective transforms it into a noun.

The Collaborative is publishing a pamphlet entitled "Patients Play a Vital Role in Patient Safety." So the Northern Illinois Patient Safety Collaborative is effectively an adjective in search of a noun which is going to litter us with handbills warning us that health care may be hazardous to our health. Smells like a preemptive malpractice defense to me.

Why don’t the Collaborative’s collaborators cut to the chase and provide us with a flier informing us of the anesthesiologist that makes them cringe when he shows up in their operating rooms? Or the orthopedic surgeon they wouldn’t let operate on the family pet? As long as we’re playing Let’s Make A Deal, at least drop us a hint that Door Number 3 is the booby prize.