Republican Ritalin

I think Prince George has ADD. He darts like a hummingbird from one crisis to the next. First, we had the WTC attack crisis, which gave rise to the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. George lost interest in that search, but decided as long as we had all of our stuff in Afghanistan we should bomb Baghdad and address the lack-of-democracy crisis in Iraq. After that fire was stoked and self-sustaining, George attacked the health care tort reform crisis. When it came to his attention that the nation’s population was unable to identify with starving doctors, the reform crisis turned to lawsuits against asbestos manufacturers. Upon learning that most Americans stopped suing the asbestos industry for serving fiberglass insulation as a side dish years ago, he donned his white hood and tackled the anti-queer amendment to the Constitution. While his crack staff was trying to manufacture the correlation between homosexual sex and heterosexual divorce, George lost interest and made a beeline for the root of communism: Social Security. He is now criss-crossing the country in his private jet shouting "I know something’s wrong with it; will somebody tell me what it is?"

Not to worry. As soon as someone rolls another sparkle ball across the carpet, George will be off and running in a different direction. Have you ever watched a cat paw at the litter box looking for just the right place to shit? Maybe, just maybe, before his eight years are exhausted, George will find the crisis with his name on it, shit on it, cover it up, and spend his twilight years chasing sparkle balls around the Presidential Library at Crawford Community College.